Queen: Are you able to form a
government with the support of parliament?
May: I am.
Queen: Are you sure?
May: I am.
Queen: Excellent. So what the fuck are
you going to do about Brexit?
May: I know! I mean... really? Where
the hell do I even start?
Queen: Dude. Rather you than me.
May: But can't you... maybe... can't
you do one of those royal edict things where you just say that you're not gonna
do it? That you like a bit of united Europe and remember the blitz innit? Or
the other way: I evoke article 50 right now, fuck all of you!
Queen: No bloody way. I'm apolitical,
remember?
May: Oh fuck it.
Queen: Go on then, give me a sneaky peek of your
cabinet.
May: No, you’ll have to wait and see.
Queen: Come on! You know I like the spoilers!
May: OK then. Just one though, but this one’s
really funny… Boris in the Foreign Office.
Queen: … Boris Johnson?
May: Yeah.
Queen: BoJo?
May: Yep.
Queen: In the Foreign Office?
May: Yes! <sniggers>
Queen: Really? Hehehehe!
May: I know!
Queen: Hahahaha!
May: Hahahaha!
Queen: Oh my God! Oh my God! Hahahahaha!
May: Oh! Oh! Hahahaha!
Queen: Oh no! Oh no! I can’t breathe!
May: Hahahahaha!
Queen: Oh my! Oh dear! God! Why didn’t you just ask
for Phil and have done with it?
May: <Falls about laughing>
Queen: Oh God! Oh God! This hurts! Oh stop!
May:
<Wiping
away tear> It even rhymes! ‘I’ll have Boris, in the Foreign Office!’
Queen: Oh God! Please stop! <Falls of her
chair>
(This piece gave me such an Under Pressure
earworm.)
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