Don't you just love it when your politician's choose to peg it down the corridor instead of standing up for their robust and principled policies? Like how Lansley does on this video.
Cameron sticks his head out of the unassuming doorway that leads to the bike sheds and shouts.
Cameron: Lansley? Lansley!
Miliband: Cammers? Is that you?
Cameron: Millers? I don’t suppose you’ve seen Lansley around
anywhere, have you?
Miliband: Lansley? No. The closest I got was spotting the
chase a couple of days ago.
Cameron: Huh. Who was chasing him that time?
Miliband: Sheila.
Cameron: Tea trolley Sheila?
Miliband: That’s the one. Apparently the NHS is treating her mum
for MS.
Cameron: Ouch.
Miliband: I don’t think she caught him. She told me he
jumped down a lift shaft, and she didn’t fancy following.
Cameron: Well, we’ve got a confirmed sighting of his arm on a
CCTV picture from Monday afternoon, and another from Tuesday morning that we think we think is his foot. It’s a bit hard to tell though. There were a lot of people
chasing him and some of their placards got in the way.
Miliband: Well, I’m sure he’ll turn up eventually. Oh, while
you’re here, Balls asked me what was on the Gove emails. Do you know?
Cameron: Oh God! The Gove emails! Why can’t that man just
die?
Miliband: <sniggers>
Come on; spill. Was he going on about the evils of being gay again?
Cameron: Nope, he’s happy to say that in public.
Miliband: Bibles in schools?
Cameron: No, and in his defence, schools do keep wittering
on about needing more books.
Miliband: More about changing the history curriculum so we
only teach pupils about Britain’s victories and importance?
Cameron: No, once again, he’s happy that the world knows his
thoughts on that.
Miliband: He does know that that was one of Hitler’s key
education policies, doesn’t he?
Cameron: Yes.
Miliband: Though he compared himself to Mao I suppose. Does
he know the result of Mao’s long march on education?
Cameron: Apparently not! Look, Millers, can we drop it? The
emails were sent to the Home Office. I’m not even confirming that I know the
content of the emails…
Miliband: Well it is a hard thing to keep a track of what
emails you’ve read. James M says so, so it must be true.
Cameron: Yes, and I can’t even play the ‘er, I’m not sure if
I read them,’ card, because I did that with the sodding horse and look how that
ended up!
Miliband: Yeah, that really wasn’t very good.
Cameron: It was a horse
for Christ’s sake! Hell, it’s not like the time when I forgot that several of
my close friends were responsible for perverting the course of justice in a
murder trial!
Miliband: Yeah. But people like horses. And you rode a
retired one that really should have been resting up.
Cameron: Well anyway…
Miliband: It’s sort of a bit like saddling up Shiela’s
elderly mother and making her carry you up and down Oxford Street a few times.
Cameron: It really isn’t…
Miliband: Possibly with a whip.
Cameron: ANYWAY, all
I’m saying is that if Gove is happy for everyone to know that he’s a
homophobic, ignorant idiot, whatever is in the emails that he doesn’t want people to see, well, that must be
pretty bad.
Miliband: Time will tell, I suppose.
Cameron: Yes. Unfortunately it will.
Miliband: Oh! Look! Lansley!
Cameron: Where? Are you sure?
Miliband: Just scurried behind that tree there, give it a
tick… Yep! There he goes! Run!
<Cameron runs.>
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